Thursday 18 July 2013

Sitting on my hands and keeping my mouth firmly shut is a prayer?


I am in the middle of a steep learning curve.

Mum had a stroke last week. I am deeply grateful that it was relatively mild and although she has suffered some damage she is not completely incapacitated.  She is presently out of hospital and staying with me. The occupational therapist warned me that she must be encouraged to do as much as she can for herself in order to return to some sort of independent life. I am surprised how hard it is to step back and let her struggle with ordinary tasks such as making a cup of tea.  The temptation to say "here let me....." is almost overwhelming. Intellectually I understand but the reality of putting it into practice is entirely another thing. It is heartbreaking to watch the effort simple tasks take. 

Imagine my surprise when sitting with a client this morning and finding myself again in the position of not leaping in and doing the task at hand. It would have taken me about fifteen minutes but left to his own devices and with limited guidance it took the young man over an hour. Again I realized he needed to learn, and that the best way for him was to work through it himself. I wasn't doing him any favours by taking over and doing it for him. 

I am learning to breathe gently, sit still silently and wait in such circumstances. 

Such waiting certainly doesn't come naturally to me but this morning it seemed a form of loving contemplative prayer. 

4 comments:

  1. So sorry about your mum. Beautiful reflection, though.

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  2. I too am sorry about your mom. It is a learning curve, how and when to help...how and when to let learn...breathing and taking time for a breath or two is always a worthwhile endeavor.

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  3. You and your mother are in my prayers.

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