For what seems the longest time I have lived in darkness.
Prayer has echoed uselessly in my heart and mind. Thoughts have swirled round and round until I thought I was half crazy. Words disappeared into a deep hole, swallowed and I have not been able to marshal them into any sense or order. Yet after a while the darkness became familiar, almost comfortable. I ceased to despair of it. I had no hope of a change and I stopped seeking one, choosing instead to live day by day. Reacting to each days events in an isolated fashion, losing sight of any bigger picture that may emerge.
My repeated phrase, given me by my sons "breathe Mom, breathe".
So I have breathed. And breathed, and breathed.
And suddenly yesterday I awoke to a sunny day, spring been and gone in a matter of days as it does here and summer hovering in the wings.
And like a blade of grass breaking though concrete, hope stirs.
And with it a forgotten sense of joy.
And for now that is enough; wonderfully more than enough.