Deep in fear

For one reason and another I have walked often in deep, dark, paralysising fear.  Terrible though it may be it is often simply the fact of my life.  Underneath the apparently "normal" facade churns terror, relentlessly, day in and day out.  It does wax and wane like the moon, but it never entirely goes.  In defence I have learned to manage the terror and most days I have more control than it does. Those days are each a victory that I cherish.

Today the hours of learning to breathe through terror so that I can think and function finally paid off.  I had a client come and see me who was in a depth of terror as she finally faced the seriousness of her debt crisis.  She had no idea which way to turn and what to do next.  I could pass of the painfully learned lessons of managing terror and fear to someone who really needed them.  And the lessons learned helped her cope.

The value of learning to function in darkness which is not something I always think worth the effort, is reinforced.

More nudging toward life. Grace again.